Friday, June 13, 2008

You think I'd be better by now.
You'd be wrong if you thought that.

I'm worse.

The only time it seems like he wants to be near me is when we fuck.
He always sounds aggravated when I call him, like I'm bothering him.

I have to kiss him first, always.
I have to say "I love you" first, always.

He doesn't even cuddle with me when we sleep next to eachother anymore.
I tried to cuddle with him, and he stayed for a second, and then moved away.

He's falling out of love with me, I can feel it.
I'm so fucking scared.

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His mom's in the hospital and I understand that.
I know it seems selfish, but he said he'd be with me today.
He just... acted like it wasn't a big deal that he couldn't be with me.
He used to at least act like he was sorry he had to go.

Come to think of it...
He didn't even apologize that he had to break our plans.
He barely even kissed me goodbye.

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It also seems like she doesn't like me anymore.
I don't know what I did.

She's hung up on me every time we've been on the phone in the last two weeks.
She seems like she doesn't even want to be anywhere near me anymore.

Why does everything have to come crashing down together?

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