Sunday, November 23, 2008

One: I will give you the best kiss I will ever give a girl.
Me: Therefore, making me the happiest girl in the world. ^_^

I wasn't lying.

Last night confused the shit out of me. I was SO FUCKING SCARED. I don't think I've ever worried that much about anyone in my life. Not even that time that Joe never called me back after he was in Baltimore. That night, I remember being so fucking scared that I left about 487240867204687 voice mails on his machine. This time, though... I called his friend, I messaged his sister, I called and called and called. I was prepared to drive to him and make sure he was ohkay.

I didn't even know that I cared that much. This made me fucking cry. How lame is that? I CRIED because I thought that this guy, that I have only hung out with once and have barely talked to in comparison to other boys, wasn't ohkay. I feel harder than usual this time. I'm not sure what to do.

I am, however, really glad that he likes me as much as I like him. I hope his finger is ohkay. I made him snap it back into place this morning. I could HEAR the bone crack. I was so scared. All that kept running through my mind was, "what if he's already gone," "what if I didn't save him and I could have?" "What in the world will I do without him." I prayed. I don't believe in God and I prayed. Hoping that maybe if I did, he would be ohkay. He was. I don't know whether I had anything to do with it... or if he just ended up being completely fine. But.. I'm fucking glad he is ohkay.
I am glad I finally found someone as fucked up as me.
Thank God, someone who understands me.

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