Friday, December 5, 2008

You've yoinked it away. :)

My little ounce of happy for the day.
Yeah, baby. You stole that right out from under me.

I'm ohkay with being second in your life.
Hell, I'm ohkay with being third or last.
As long as I am something.

Lately, I've been asking myself:
"Do you even want to see me?"
Too terrified to ask you, considering you might get offended.
Considering you probably would get offended.
Yeah. You'd be offended.
It's a good thing that I know that much about you.

Not everything is a contest. If I'm not ohkay you ask what's wrong.
You do not tell me how you're just as shitty.
Take care of me for like three seconds.

It all started last night...
Joe called.
Joe: "Blainey, can I come hang out with you?"
Me: "Joe, why do you only call when you want some ass, or need pot, or I don't know. You barely even fucking talk to me anymore."
Joe: "Never mind. You've got school tomorrow.. right? I just wanted to hang out with you."
Me: "Uhg. whatever I'm going back to sleep."

-Five minutes later, I feel horrible for snapping at him. I call back because all I can think about is how amazing it would feel to lay next to him for like an hour or, goodness gracious, until morning.-

Me: "I lied, please come back. I just want to see you."
Joe: "Blainey, I can't now, I'm headed the other direction on Mussetter."
Me: "Please just fucking come back, Joe, you never have time for me, and you finally do."
Joe: "Blainey, I'm going to be free next time you are free. I will come see you, I promise."

..I realize that no matter what, if he asked me to jump, I'd say, "How fucking high do you need my jump to be? One leg or two? Distance hop or in-place?" How fucking sad is that?

I'm still WAITING.

No comments: